anti-climactic

going no where fast
we have reached a crossroads
are we in this together
not even close to fun
if you want to run
far away i cant blame you
run away
and separate
given more than most
for longer than one should
invisible force holding me back
its like im allergic to progress
this self destructive
this un-productive
not even bad luck this
is some Freudian subconscious
obnoxious
watch this
i tail spin
inches from goal
its as if ive an anchor
attached to my soul
endlessly praying
entirely laying
myself in prostration
still this frustration
an illustration
discontinuity relation
hopelessly hopeless
how often i waste
this grace
i spit in its face
book thrown
closed case
sin encased
permanent state
us?
dust
lost
trust
bust
leave me out
to rot
to rust
far from right
far from just

John Denver

this sinking feeling
this hole in my soul
i am left reflecting
i am alone surrounded
undeserving of the blessings
undeserving of the love
the future seems so dismal
anti excitement comes with tommorrow
i am trapped here and now
mourning and wanting
wishing i were more than myself
afraid of my potential
afraid of failing
i hover like a roller coaster
having reached the top
i linger for this moment
this apex
the climb was too short
lost in the excitement
i am haunted by what i may have missed
i renounce the future
imprisoned by memories
i loath what comes next
stuck in the quicksand of regret
impartial to comforting words
pray for me
i am despair
woe is me
try to make it work
man these times
are hard
hard enough to harden
pardon me
while i burst
into tears
i wear my sorrow
i dare not see pictures
i want no tomorrow
yesterday is gone
once close now so far
though i had it
its gone now
and here i remain
my sadness is drownding
now back to the same
it makes me mad
insane inside
i lock myself away
internally i hide
i bury my burdens
with layers of guilt
feeling empty
hollow
fetal
i wilt
 

A Merry Kin

Fated fatigued
Be mine
Over time
I might be too strung out
Too thinned out stretchedt
Arm strong
Hard
They know
Money
Im over
Drafted
Blast
Did I plan ahead
Rather things never said
Escape
I fled
I flee
This circus
Work this
Berserk is
The way
I live
My
Count tree
Tis of thee

sandpaper

sacramental
extra-mental
even easter wont shed enough light
even Christ cant set things right
not yet at least
burdened we beast
not births nor deaths nor changing season
going on so long cant remember the reason
whats you name?
whos your daddy?
rich would he love me?
i cant take itall the time
cant we fake it
half the time
i can take it
ill be fine
i can shake it
most the time
no one showed me what it means to live
tell it to me slowly
tell me what?
i really want to know
is it time?
whens my season?
need loving.
continually snuffed
mistreated
its rough
i grit till im gums
it adds up to great sums
sums of doubt
less myself
undefined
lacking wealth
what am i?
wasted space?
not capitalized
lower cased
they say the tortoise
wins the race
perhaps im just
slower paced
so in the mean time
i get mean time?
till you deem mine
worth esteem
kindly remind
me of the crime
guilty me
im
stuck in rewind
left questioning why 'm
wasting these lines

Dune inspired

Geidi Primes

Sweet the sound

you the fuckin best
baby you the best
you the best i ever
had
i a dozen lives to live
this twelve times twelve
is the one id chose.
clues: 
shades of blue the sky
has many
but the number of hues
displayed forever,
though many,
are not enough plenty
to number the times daily
i ponder bout gaily
bout how you inutterably amaze me.
the grace of God
lead thee to me
verse a- me to thee
I thank Him three times
Holy trinity
to bless me the father of your son
your spirit is the goodest
although presently pregnant
you've already won
the mother of the millenium award
all competition is forever out-scored
Lord have mercy.
you're a fox
and i hound you.
sniffed you out
you fill the hole in my soul
am eternally bound to you
if you were a cloud
i would bring the ground to you
and now like the moon
is bound to the earth
my every revolves around you
you give my life worth.
the stars aligned in the heavens
and like a wise man i have found you
and find you stellar, amazing,
i want to astound you.
you are out of this world
if i was a dumb bell
in your hand id be curled
you are atlas strong
in my eyes can't do wrong
and i ring like clockwork to tell world
this boy is wow that girl-ed
for all time you got me
like a flash here you seent'it
my heart jumped into your pocket
do with it what you see fit

Ketchup

eager anticipation, new chapter's beginning
hoping this period ends with us winning
records record and history repeats
asses of crowds rustle in seats
reflectively yesterday's dastardly deeds
feed fires consuming, self serving needs
sophomoric, a rascal, obliviously carefree
motions for nothing, a bag in the breeze
doubly a dog dangerously doing all dares
ignoring advice,
dismissing yall asses
as naysayers

Hath-deady

 >>>>>>>>!<<<<<<<<
now and then
i think of when
we were
together
we were happy
oh so happy
could have died
lived for myself
so selfishly
lived a lie
spoke false comfortably
but that was someone
that i so want not to
wont remember

when addicted
nothings certain
'cept the sadness
living daily
to an end
always an end
the way we lived
just did not make sense
lets make certain
that it stays past tense
and count our blessings
that that part is dead and over

i didnt mean to stoop
so low
hurt you badly
treating you like you were nothing

still you never ceased to show me love
when i turned into a stranger
and that means so much

that part of me is over now
somethings different
always something
that i hadnt found

i guess we needed room to grow
time to become somebody
like you used to know

now and then
i think
of all the times
i screwed you over
having you
believing
it was
always something
you had done
you dont have to live that way
had you crying on the day to day
im truely sorry
that i hope you know
i can tell you
but i suppose its something
time will have to show

yes you were right to cut me off
collect the records
crunch the numbers
and get to know yourself

you never ceased to show me love
when i turned into a stranger
and that means so much

no i didnt mean to stoop so low
i hurt you badly
and didnt notice just how lost i was

that part of me is over now
and i can be somebody
like you used to know

getit

inspired by those who are on their game
undetered and undisturbed by the demons
black they plauge me and disrupt me
dream a little dream a future bright
artistic altruistic i cant ballistic
this sickness addiction leaves me
behind me the past runs fast in my head
leaving clouds of regret and sorrow
in debt to the master of slaves the enemy
what once was a crutch gives me a purpose
i purpose a toast to the dont anymores
i raise a glass half empty and realize
half full of myself is not the way to be
no longer me im about to explode