I don’t know

I’m not quite ready
To become what I’ll be
I’ve been confused
Since I can remember
Coolio cucumbering
Encumbered by the globe
Again with that lass
Carrying the world
Maybe not the earth
But mines heavily absurd
Did I mention I’ve lost
My marbles yes my wits
I’ve been reduced to throwing tantrums
Isolation fits
Nothing seems to bring me
Pleasure anymore
I’ve been doing it again
Getting bed sores
I’m lazy when defeated
Deflated
Not pumped up
This heart
Feels like broke
Ain’t got the drive
I’m finding music
Is pivotal
The boob tube
Is deplorable
I’ve been grinding Netflix
For damn near two weeks
Not searching for
Not looking far
Not finding
Sinks not seeks
This mindless wordplay
Is just a waste of time
However amusing
I’m finding rhyme
Throwback jam
To Naka days
I’ve been lower
Prescription pays
Prayers interrupted
By self frustration
Popping pills instead
And throwing in another chew
My face will fall off
Just like me
Wasted again
Monetarily
Vestiges of hoping
Are few
Far between
I’m so far gone
Don’t know
Can’t begin
To tell you
Truly