Saturday, August 18, 2012


will this ever end please tell me it will it has far too long and i am losing but still i have to try my best not enough i keep falling back on this twisted drug crutch oh my Jesus with heavenly aid come to my assistance for I am a pitiful display my devotion is a roller coaster on which I am no longer amused the sin permeating Your sacred heart I abuse I cannot control that which causes me pain and while others may assume so it farthest from plain yes or no for my answer is don't but my soul is screaming never yet listen my body won't I don't get it I am baffled for I cave and submit to my urges my demons they are ceaseless won't quit but neither will I Lord I am strong when with You but the sin that accumulates won't let Your love shine on through I am clouded by nature and I seek the Son rise and I want more than anything to be not despised for if judged at the present I would for lack of restraint be burning amongst all those who chose salvation too late do not leave me my God for I yearn for Your favor and I trust in the promises brought down by my Saviour rally with me to defeat all this evil send down your assistance I know we will prevail I just need some help and to be kept away from temptation which is hard when my frequency is tuned to selfish a station be patient with my ignorance and my nature to fall but be merciful Lord and answer this call

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Re: Turn

Out of practice
Feeling of lackness
Matter of fact is
Coded and cracked his
Fists in the air
Reader beware
You've stepped into the lair
Of a man who is bare
Naked exposed
Cypher depths deep his soul's
Full of wordy expressions
Self teaching life lessons
The less wins the better
For he's light as a feather
When stormy the weather
Released from the tether
Of the drab that's routine
Now the cleanest he's been
No longer the fiend
Somehow now he's weened
Though struggling he's keen
To the past and has seen
Where the fleeting path leads
Destructive in deed's
The easy, the norm
True his mind wanders
He's twisted and torn
Compelled to revert
Into this sickness was born
Surrounded in lifetimes
Of no repercussion
Of not giving a shit
Content with the nothing
That comes from a life
Of self gratification
Setting fire to bridges
Where there are no fire stations
The school of hard knocks
Is his choice education
Quadruple his major's
Disease, deprivation
Anguish and scorn
An emphasis in denial
The hard way is his
Accustomed to vial
Humility gained
A failure thus far
Laugh at his lot
Full of feather and tar
The last laugh is his
As the world's bound to see
Twenty six and counting
Father of three