no healing going on here
no place but up to go
because any farther down
into this mess ive made of myself
and ill slit my throat
bound to lose
my mind
as if there is anything left
to salvage
my former glory
haunts me
memory museum
i banned myself from
i cant even let myself feel
its all very overwhelming
so much shame
so far away from
the me i was proud to be
she left me
and that hurt
but ive entered a phase
where i dont believe
that ill ever love myself
again
ive given up
i can tell
in the way
im lost to myself
dont know who i really am
and it takes me
too much energy
just to get out
of my room
more than that
im still mourning
and she isnt ever going to look back
i thought i had overcome
the worst
that i was getting over her
moving on
but i was wrong
and it's apparent
im a fraction
a remnant
a shadow
each passing day
i exist in this fog
where im dull
disconnected
gray and overcast
fucking fading
and i hate this
because
healing isnt happening
im a product
of painful past mistakes
putting things back
together
ain't so easy
for me
im scared
and alone
wishing you
still felt things
but you dont
and im daily
getting crazy
barely holding on
losing faith
losing hope basically
