Matthew 18:22

You are a piece
Where do we begin to begin again?
When I close my eyes I can almost feel
Like nothing
You changed it all
After all this insanity.
Am I gonna be an optimist?
The rubble of our sins
Crashes into me
And I
____
Into you

Tumbled and crumbled
Walls piled high
Accumulation
Could see
Desolation
From space
Apparition
Crossed
'cross my heart
Left
Coping
We died

Rose
Scarlet red
Petals fall
To the floor
Riding
Like gravity
Angelic
Warfare
Powers
Principalities
Will we
Rise again?

It is through giving that we receive. These seconds are chances. Gifts we are given. I try to receive them. But the past, with its pain, is proving hard not to live in.  Four hundred and ninety times I'm told to forgive you. This hole in my heart has a will to be filled, a task I intend to see through. Still though, at times, as if frozen. I get nowhere. Lacking real progression. Stuck. Hesitation. There is wisdom in this lesson. I oft unwittingly am victim of my own imagination. Parinoid delusions. Internal manifestations. My fear is falling prey again, my pride is so defensive. Being the focus of manipulations is emotionally expensive.

                                                                        I am

Finding myself
              haunted,
                  by this monster,
                          your creation.
Yet thanking you,
               all the same,
                   for this painful education.