Abandoned by myself and the struggle was never as hard as when I lost hope in the strength of my own resilience. It used to excite me to persevere but it has become unfortunately all too clear that the caviler is more in my imagination than my actions. Surrounding myself with lowered expectations and mistakes upon mistakes messed up I'm so fucked. The beginning is more than I can even swallow I'm headless like a zombie sleepy and hollow. Forgot what real life was and overexposed myself to my foes. John Does and trap whores.
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