Est-Rang-ed.

im not really interested
in talking
about it
i feel
like that book
with grover
like there is a monster at the end of this
and i don't feel
like crying
right
now

ive been
compartmentalizing
well enough
to get through
days
long
and dark

im just letting
infant jesus
take the
reigns
to this sled
grandma
is running over
rain
dear
games

over the river and through the woods
as i am
dragged behind
like a southern hate crime victim
slamming my head
sonny bono style
on every fucking trunk

observe
as i go vietnam Buddhist
calmly accepting
the burning
the savagery
the pain

happy 2nd birthday Stella.
Star in my sky.
i wish upon you.
even though i can't see you...

for whatever-

backwards ass,
selfish,
self serving,
heart wrenching,
soul squashing,
easy way out,
avoiding confrontation,
exaggerated,
slanderous,
certified insane,
BULLSHIT,
(not to mention
anti christ)
no mass

pour favor

ive
got nothing
but sorrow
and im exhausted

God help me
I miss my baby

-reason they tell themselves.
Fuck you. and God bless you
Mothers,
you fuckers