So know men

 Twas a night approaching Xmas 

And I'm a chillin on my couch

Listening to the nutcracker

Not using my mouth 

Been thinking bout 

where I am 

Where I'm going 

Where I've been 

All in my feelings 

Thinking in caps 

All while docile 

In between naps 

Feeling too hard 

Feeling ashamed 

Not fixing anything 

Solitaire mind games 

During the day sometime 

Something feels switched 

And the joy of being alive

Gradually replacing feeling like a little bitch 

No longer dwelling 

On having not what I haven't got 

Instead listening to music 

Which to me is a lot 

For i find myself punishing 

For no reason whatsoever 

Myself when I'm midnight blue 

Blame it on the weather 

It's colder now 

And the lights down low 

Make the sadness sweeter 

As I have come to know 

Funky like medina 

Cold snapped inactive 

Lost for a moment 

So unattractive

Finding again self 

When wandering lost 

Is harder than ice 

Perma-frost