shit pile

so i caved and scrounged change like a kid and can did i purchase the thing im a slave to in forms that various ways come into me a mockery of me make the vessles of addiction im stuck in this place where my facts are in fiction listen not and hear not the words here for now im plowed under turned under milked out no cow udder dry im up tossed and turned out when will it let up what am i even talking about if i dont how can you know what the fuck this all means im just rambling and it soothes me my mood phasing it seems extreme low im reversing so ive got some rehearsing faking smiles sunny dials say times up same shit different piles