netscum

this world
beyond me
how fucked up it has gotten

tonight i hung out with the gals
and though they may be ruling us all now
they have got it all wrong

individuslistic
can do anything
without you
drop you at the first sign
of slight
discomfort
these bitches
be trippin like they high on somethin'

great power
abused and corrupt
innocence lost
in cell phones by age 9
earlier even

its getting worse
with the sex and the pleasure
dating apps and pictures
self destruct
its whatever

cant trust nobody
but read everyone
cant rely on a mfer
be simple
man
son

fuck the sober
square lifes a joke
lifes a noose
then the floor drops out
you choke

boar ring

you get er done? ready to hang yet? i been thinking bout you like you burst from a giant sky fallen rain drop, came. wet.
could have rang me. shame slept.
got me up. rung ear hear here.
dame step. quit playin. aint no ref. so hurry. im graffiti. word sprayin

fer instance time instants are on fire they fly. think you can grab them  but on on your way the light dies. then they are lost so you look somewhere else hoping to capture a lit one cause to hold one happily is all that youre after. some little piggies eat roast beef. others get none. some people stay home while still others run. errands like market going stay on their toes and the like, me im all about the ride so ill be just doin it. nike.
game prep. rally round me like you so alt make me pepp. er not. need a doctor cause last i checked im in/impatient.  bland i isnt thats for show. spicy tho. either way. hey gurl hey. lead me to this word play. never gunna send it tho. save it for a cloudy day

the first of a long string of days

she said one year. i believe her. so here we go. today started off in the same space i now occupy, her couch. she will eventually move it out and i dread the day. but perhaps i will be less emotionally attached by then. we will see. tonight seems bittersweet in the sense that there is indeed real hope that the future can be bright and what i say i want can be real. that being said, the road ahead seems intimidating standing here looking ahead. faith alone. faith in God, faith in myself, and faith in her. trust two of the three i can easily. the other is what scares. we get what we give. divine econmy of salvation. justice. all is new. this dawn. endless possibilities. again, scary. the what-ifs get me hung up. gotta stay here. not the future nor past. to shift for the long term these changes must last. how little i feel when i size up the task but the alternative isnt an option yet im wanting now, wanting fast. typical thinking that got me here alone wishing things were different nobody hearing me cause im all alone. i can not be negative nows not the time. five things i am thankful for and they may even rhyme they include forgiveness because its really the reason im still here and without it i dont think anyone would ever persevere the second is compassion the kind humanity has cause today i really felt it for that i am glad. third being humility cause im learning it now as i will get nothing less, in that i earned where i am now. fourth thing im thankful for is my children and when they impart little wisdoms making the outward turn within. the fifth is my faith for without it im lost and it reminds me its not me calling shots cause im not really the boss. thats my penance im clean and can go one of two ways. im going to pray now this ends well after 364 more days. i know what my goal is and it seems both imoossible and at same time acheivable. im leaving God in his goodness to let us survive

just fucking kill me

you can call me you know i welcome its not a home without you two here i bask in the sound of silence wishing on a stella her mommy was behind this door or that one but a monster scared her away now im stuck here living with shadows and dismay for my worst fear came true as i self sabatoged as if it meant nothing to let go words and waste moments ill maybe never get to make back times i was the worst enemy to my self i could be hardly myself not at all really not me something wrong up inside mental help needing eye sees no color it left me today alls grey shades of blues having nobody to hear me or share with my mood masks like horror im ghost im so booed you can to my grave bring me floral the arrangement so strange went fast gone like this summer when away i was often so many days lost the number and it was bad when i was crying when i would leave for the week but now its as if i cant eat think or sleep cause the better part of me left my side leaving a hole in my soul as deep as its wide im still bound to you and in love with you darling and when you say you love me too our reunion isnt some far thing. you can ring up my line its not wrong if its right im so sad you are missing im missing you too all alone here tonight

most

this time on my hands got me all in my head and id rather feel nothing like wake up and be dead than these sinky feelings of isolation alone all my focus on hearing the sound of ring tones from home im estranged feeling bitter and grey going through robotic motions wasting days when away i feel distance and disconnection from all i truely desire like my flame is a puff of smoke a put out funeral pyre i need saving from myself im worth nothing to my i place all of my value in how much im loved and though wealthy in that way im feeling broke feel no love and im praying that something comes to fix this i hover above myself like a shadow or ghost waiting impatiently to receive a glimmer of light from the one that i love

😘 😘 you so sweet

sweet on you. like id rot out my tooths if you let me keep you in my mouth im a goose on the loose honking chasing biting toochies of anyone besides me (or half of me) tries to shake me from your nectar you are my shade tree my lady on days when the heat of the moments away from you blaze heavily on my soul to squeeze you is reason enough to pull through i would juice you and freeze you into popsicles true but i refrain from insane things as these you see im praying till bleeding through the knees cause im so thankful for you never stop if you please

WayWay

way past late and im up in my zone
when the crib is asleep i aim finally alone
though i hate to feel the lonely
here i am in solace tuned
not ready yet to rest this head
some fine thing waiting in my living-room

this weekend flew by fast this time
the acceleration thing
it seems the older that we get
the faster the current
in which we swim

many fishes
in the seas
but only one of
these
be me
individualistic
sorta see my self
a mystic
all future is tickly
keep myself pro/con
constantly
come
pan young
keeps you
three is
company
into this
na-tur-all-y
uniquity
antiquiet
antiquate
alturistically

craft I
quality
the path i'm on
rather you'd
wanna be
on my
boat-train
time will see
grindingly
machinery
altered beast mode
gradually

truth is
honestly
mine own it
baller g
the only
potentiality
i forsee
highly
statistic
probablity
of robbing the game
grand larson burgality
prob not
problems don't need
prob b dubbed
nightly sir
sword swored
black as night
knightly
hype be
no bull
write right
aristocratic
noble heir
apostrophy
pass the trophy
and the dro please.
Is shaded me,
neath money tree,
eventually,
my destiny?
I guess stay tuned.
Aggressively.

word: playerz

kick with the artists
they all black men
talking real taking action
vigilante like the bat man

how the fuck the ones that get shat on the worst are so versed to the story tellings gifted a curse slur a word on some beat spit the flow with amigos and its good for the soul like it puts light in and glow you go round in a circle venting playing timing message send its fer real when its not just for goofs and pretend time can bend and remembering saids is oft a struggle for its flash like bolt ends like on high zues in mt olympus feel a catch me a blessing talking stupid with my friends

what you say

be kind to me in conversation.
 im imperfect
and its all i can think of
 in your absence.
its like you are my emissary
i pray there is more good
than negative
going for me
over here
 because im trying baby
 to be a good man
to you.
 i hope you can honestly
 say
that
of me.
 you dont deserve anything less
and i feel like
my life
 is going to be put on the burner
when they
 loosen you up.