Messy

What’s oddly familiar about this?
That I know
I should get out.
And I don’t

What the
****’s
the matter
with me?

Deplorable
downward spiral
tailspin
Kamikaze

Still
I won’t
Act on
Indecision

Needing not nor
Asking for
You or your
Permission

What we?
All I
know is me
Does that make me selfish?

This will
Decay
Decompose
Become the deathwish

Sentencing
Righting
Down
Emotionally

Bound
Bio-chemistry
Faded now
Free radically

Thanks for
Everything
Blessed Be
Our Memories

Never Enough
What the ____?
Sameness, nothing
Clandestinely

Not ‘nuff
just thoughts
Movement
Change is hard

Knowing
Is more than
who we
are

Freedom rings
If you answer
Listen for
“The Call”

Choice is power
Sometimes fear
Is crippling
Forced to crawl

9 lives

This **** has got me trippin
Thinking we are disagreeable 
Communication breaking now
This problem proves formidable 

Blatantly ignores the words
As if I never spoke them.
Won’t allow me; disavowingly. We
Forming spaces inhospitable 

again. With the fighting.
Incessantly picking...
Apart. Where for?
Art thou tearing up my heart?

I feel it too
With or without U2
I can’t live this lack of like it,
Let’s get back to. Press restart.

Thy Will Be

It’s called morning
Because yesterday died
So should we 
To our before 
More selves

Wants are fleeting 
Needs not
So much
Feeling is distraction 
Intuition trust

Emotion versus logic
Innately imitate we
Learned bad 
Habits 
What’s a (wo)man too due

Man woe
Erring cause I am
Hue (man)
Exuding 
Lighten ang-

Grrr 
Like a beast
Roaring 
Lion like
Pride aside peace

Kingdom 
****
World gone 
Wrong
Ugly ducking singing off tune swan song

fansee that

By the time we arrive we will clock out having worked a 26 hour shift
Needed that
Gimmi dat
Sanging songs
Zombies
But fully alive
Living
Doing
Did that
Bringing home
Bacon and cheddar
We’ve been on the run
Driving when no sun
Nothings gunna stop we now
Packer glory
From the Tund
-ra Ra RAW

Bapdismal

Little high
Little low
Went out
To hear the music

Alcoholic beverages
Conversations ensued
Bought some art
Gave it away

Everyone
Critics
God Emperors
Heretics

Last night
I was myself
All alone
Dancing, left my phone

In my car
Caring not
Technology revolt
Ixian analogue, sans remote

Sandals
Duney
Wormwood
Whispers

Clearly air
Water falls
Ruined
Runes

Stoned like
Martyrs
Mortars
Moved

Pyramid
Envy
Loons wading
Waist deep ‘mongst looms

Read
See?
Parting
Sorrow that sweets

Lower than
Self-less
Washing way
sins, I,
since I
got them;
oft on
dis-eased
feets.

Clean now.
Offed them
dancing.
Beats battle
shadow
stragglers
towed
neath foot,
neath toe.

Freedom
found in
the action.
So I
act on,
them feats.
Control.
Alternation.
Deletes.

Nothing Really

The universe hates me
I feel
So
Ashamed

Caught in the landslide
Appeal
Sow
Unreeled

No escape from
Wheel
Dow
Jones’n

Reality
Feel
Doubt
Hone in

Open your eyes
Peel
Route
Rowing inn

And see
Steal
Knelt
Been been

And see
Easy come
Easy go
Matterin’

Dee Pleat Ed.

Been up for a minute
Since about 5am
Made a pot of coffee
Music therapy, application

Soon the house will arise
Wake to distract
Head full and heavy
It’s all about the react

My baby is here
Weekend part-time dad
When I return her
It’s always sad

I usually cry
Sometimes it takes time
Like when putting toys away
Missing out making dimes

Ten times ten
One hundred percent
Slave to dollars
Making ends paying rent

My children love me
But I’m not satisfied
If I said I do enough
Believe me I lied

Never ending stories
Of struggling for real
This shit piles heavy
Layers, lack appeal

Give me a sign
Message from above
Show me the path
Lacking self-love

Hard on myself
Heavy loaded Atlas
Shouldering burdens
Hard knock life class

Fizzle out quickly
Energy never lasting
Get lost every time
Time wasted past me

He or me?
Falling into habits of old
Borrowed and broken. Soiled and cold.
Wanting but wavering. Inconsistently bold.

He(e/a)r me:
Tale between legs lack I that eye of tiger shine.
Head in hand, down. Cowardly Lion in a handout line.
Cheesy-Wiz. Cheddar-less. Deaf, eating. Whiny and dying.

Lately

She probably doesn’t know
That in between texts I often stare at my phone
Just waiting for her to drop me some line

It’s usually not anything profound
Small talk, answering a question, an emoji
But it keeps me warm as I fall asleep alone

I try not to imagine her
As she sleeps next to other people
Swears they don’t fuck, I try to believe her

I fall in love too easily
Become obsessive and codependent
I’m clingy and insecure

I started writing this
Thinking I’d send it to her
Impressing her, making her want me

Today is her birthday
She turned 25
And she’s fine without me

We fuck like rabbits
Every chance we get
And now I’m addicted

Doc

She makes me want
To both be myself
And who I am

Inspiration
Like reminds
Of what makes me tick

Makes me want
To pull out
All my trix

Sorta like falling
Down the rabbit holes
Important dates
Kindred souls

My name is found
Inside of hers
Share we love of
Written words

She says I make her
Want to write
I find that sameness
Taking a bite

Want to name her
Say things aloud
Sing when I’m with her
Three’s a crowd

Waking up
The stuff inside
Tell her everything
Blindly confide

Her walls are high
And thick like a castle
Lay siege wanting in
More pleasure than hassle

The way she smiles
When I turn up the charm
Makes me want her always
On my right, on my arm

I forgot what this felt like
To discover each other
Everything feels up
Under the covers

In constant contact
True, like connected
She’s all in my veins
I must be infected

Perhaps when she kisses me
And holds my gaze with that smile
It’s seeping into my blood somehow
Makes my heartbeat all wild